As I am researching for this post I stubbled across all sorts of articles explaining “mom fatigue”. I’ve seen more than my share of Tik Tok’s on the subject. I have not however, found any reassurances that it gets better or easier. It feels like this is the norm. The most we can hope is to find a way to cope, laugh at ourselves and move on.
Yes, it’s good to talk about it. To help normalize the feelings us parents have have of being physically and emotionally exhausted. But that’s not enough for me.
I demand a break! I need reinforcements! My life doesn’t have to be 18+ years of exhaustion, fatigue and fear of failing my children.
Where are the resources? Where is my backup quarterback? I am ready to tap out for an inning to catch my breath.
It is often said that “It takes a village” to raise a child. It’s a wonderful concept. But in today’s society, I am the village. There is no multi-generational family living together, all pulling their fair share. I don’t have a sweet old Aunt to come relieve me and pass on words of wisdom to my kids.
I’m left wondering who will fill some of the roles that will make up a whole village worth of influence in my kids lives.
When we were growing up the village was thriving. We had multiple grandparents, extended family and a sweet old lady across the street. All of which taught me an array of life skills, while my Dad worked or had some free time. My neighbor taught me to play chess. My great-grandmother taught me to play poker, and how to make a good bet. My grandmother taught me to cook. And I spent endless hours in my grandfather’s workshop learning how to use power tools.
I am not saying I don’t have family now. I do. But somehow it’s different. My kids don’t spend hours, days or weeks with other people. In fact they don’t spend much time with adults without me present.
Our world has changed drastically since my childhood. The carefree way my sister and I would play outside for hours unsupervised is gone. And with it the Village has disappeared.
I’m ready to get back to depending on others. Asking for help. Sharing responsibility.
I want to recreate the community that has been lost in my life. I want my kids to learn that we all have a shared responsibility in our future.